Wordless Wednesday: She LOVES her Daddy!!!

Wordless Wednesday: FaceTime with Daddy

....gotta love technology!!

Emersonisms: Learning from her mistakes

July 4th was a pretty lazy day in the Dever household.  I'm not sure Emerson and I changed out of our pajamas all day, and Danny only did because he had to catch a 7:00 pm flight to Jacksonville.  We did a few projects around the house and I tried to find things to keep Emerson busy so boredom wouldn't set in.  One of the activities she worked on was cutting.  In Emerson's pre-school class last year, her teacher, Mrs. Tara would attach paper on an easel, draw varying lines and have the kids use safety scissors to cut the paper.  I thought this would be a fun afternoon activity since she hadn't practiced cutting paper in awhile.

Emerson completed the cutting project and moved onto something else.  I think she was occupied with coloring on the dry erase board while I was focusing on the computer and birthday planning; Danny was in our room packing for his trip.  At some point, I heard the words (in a soft, stunned voice), "Mommy, I just cut my hair."  My heart instantly sank and then began to beat really fast.  I immediately jumped up from the computer and was in a squatting position next to Emerson in record time. "Oh no, Emerson, what did you do?" is what came out of my mouth, while "Oh Dear Lord please let her have only cut off a few pieces and please let it not be near her face.  I really don't want to take her to my $80.00 per haircut hairdresser to fix bad bangs!!" went through my mind.  And then I saw the clump of hair lying on the floor and Emerson pointed to the back of her head.  Whew, at least it wasn't bangs, but it was a CLUMP of hair and a very blunt cut.  Emerson knew she had done something wrong and I could tell this was going to be a time where good parenting and learning needed to come in.  No reason to get upset with her, she had scolded herself enough internally.  

The Not-So-Safety Scissors

The infamous CLUMP

By then Danny made out of our room and we were all sitting on the floor, well Emerson was sitting in my lap, her head burrowed in my chest (as I was inspecting the damage).  Danny told Emerson a story about when he was five years old; he also cut his hair - right on the front of his head - the day before his dad was supposed to come into his class and cut his hair in front of the class.  They were learning about the letter H!!  From the story he told, Papa (a barber at the time) was not very happy.  After hearing this story Emerson was a bit scared she might get in trouble, too.  We explained to her that you learn from your mistakes and this was certainly a learning experience, and while we weren't mad, we wanted her to understand that she made a mistake.  

Quick side note: As Danny went to pick up the hair and throw it away, I screamed out, "Don't touch that; I have to write a blog about this and need a picture!!"  (you know you blog too much when....)

Here are some pictures of the infamous haircut: 

(right after the cut and not blended in with the rest of her hair at all)

Learning lessons and teaching moments

(I promise, one day you'll see our bed actually made!!)

Love this silhouette shot!

So sad about her "mistake".....

...but a big hug from Daddy makes it all better!!

The next morning, Emerson woke up and immediately asked if her hair had grown back yet.   Unfortunately, no magical fairy came in the middle of the night and waived her magic wand to make her hair grow back.  A few days later, I was telling my mom about the whole hair incident and she asked Emerson, "Have you told your Papa yet?".   To which Emerson replied, "No, Mimi, and I'm not going to, it's a secret."  Emerson does not want her Papa to know so Danny and I have been sworn to secrecy.  Little does she know I'm writing a blog about it.  One day she'll appreciate it, but for now, I will continue letting her believe I'm keeping her secret.  She's still upset about it.  The good thing about the whole incident, Emerson did a pretty good job layering one side of her hair and it blends in pretty well, especially after it was washed.  Papa, maybe one day she'll follow in your footsteps; or maybe she traumatized herself enough not to ever cut hair again!!

The Jewel Jar

We never had to deal with the "terrible twos" in this house.  In fact, until about four or five months ago, we thought we had gotten off pretty easy.  Don't get me wrong, Emerson is the sweetest little girl in the world, she's happy, agreeable, cooperative, helpful, cuddly, rarely cries, rarely talks back, and rarely objects (of course I am completely biased).  But even the most perfect of children have their moments.  We started having THOSE moments a few months ago and we knew we had hit the "terrible threes".  Granted they haven't been as bad as what some of our friends have gone through, but when you're the parents going through it, it seems like there's no end in sight.  

A few of our friends use a different approach to getting through those tough, not listening, talking back, throwing-themselves-on-the-floor, screaming, crying, time-outs-aren't-working times.  My friend and colleague, Erika, was the first to tell me about her "Marble Jar".  She has two boys, and as she says, "they are a handful".  One day when I was on the phone with her, she threatened to take away four marbles when one of the boys wasn't cooperating.  She peaked my interest and went on to tell me how the system works.  It's pretty simple, really.  Each boy has his own small jar and there is a large bowl/jar that houses the general marbles.  When the boys do something good, they get marbles; when they do something bad, have bad days, don't listen, etc., that get marbles taken away.  Each boy has to count out their own marbles and put them into their jar or take them out.  Once the boy's jars are filled or they have the amount agreed upon, they take a trip to Target (or some other store) and pick out a gift up to $20.00.  

Emerson's friend, Kayla, and her family also use this "marble system".  Denise, Kayla's mom, has taken  a slightly different approach by assigning a monetary value to each jewel (they use jewels and not marbles).  Once the girls have reached a certain amount, they can go to a store and spend that amount or save it and add to it with the next jewel accumulation.   

So since I heard two sets of parents using the system and since Danny and I needed another way to discipline (time-outs just weren't getting through), we decided to start our own "Jewel Jar".  Last Sunday, June 26th, while Danny was playing golf, Emerson and I took a trip to JoAnne's Fabrics to look for some fabric and get the jewels and jewel jars.  Emerson was very excited to pick out her pink and clear jewels and the two jars to house them.  Of course you know when we got home, I had to "Brooke-Up" the jars.  I painted "jewels" on one jar (the jewels for Emerson to earn) and "emerson" on the other (the jewels she has earned) and then added a few crystals.  

So far, the Jewel Jar is working great.  We've seen a huge decline on some of the bad behavior and an increase in good behavior.  We try to liberally reward for positive behavior sending the message of positive reinforcement instead of taking away for bad behavior, but we've had to take a few away here and there.  We decided not to assign an amount to the jewels but we do have two different sized jewels.  Big jewels are given for super cooperation or a great day; smaller jewels are given for chores and asking politely.  The same holds true for taking them away, small jewels for lesser offenses, big jewels for greater offenses.  Hopefully this is really working or maybe it's just that we are days away from hitting Emerson's fourth birthday and all those terrible threes are leaving her system....we can only hope!!

Positive Behavior we've rewarded: 

Getting ready in the morning without whining or delay

Asking politely

Saying please and thank you without being told 

Feeding Hogan

Good listening

Helping clean up around the house